I wrote this poem for a Burns Night celebration.
Now ol’ Robbie Burns was a good ol’ boy,
And we good ol’ boys stand up for each other.
But that ol’ boy was less cowboy and more of a lover.
That scoundrel was wilder than an acre of snakes,
And he thought the sun rose just to hear him crow.
He’d chase anything in a skirt that shakes,
Whether for love or just for show.
He hated farm work and was a real buzzard if you get what I say.
He got his mother’s servant, Elizabeth, in a family way,
But Robbie already had his mind on one Miss Jean Amour,
But Jean’s father said her and Robbie’s love would be no more.
Robbie didn’t mind as he loved another lady, Mary, anyway.
And he expected to get hitched to her any day.
I tell ya that boy was so full of himself he could strut while sittin’ down,
And when it came to the ladies, Lord, he sure did get around.
He was just fixin’ to move to the Carribean
To marry Mary when she up and died,
And he published a book of pretty good poetry,
And decided to stay in Scotland with a braggart’s pride.
So what in tarnation did that boy do next
But up and move to Edinburgh to make his fame.
When he couldn’t get in Nancy McLehose’s pants,
He just got out his cards and dealt a new game.
He started wooing her servant, Jenny,
And got himself a son from this new flame.
As he got older and his fame grew,
He moved back to the country to start life anew.
He gave up the wild ways of his past,
And joined Jean Amour in a marriage that would last.
Together they had nine children, but only two survived.
They stayed married till the end, but he was only 37 when he died.
During his life, Robbie was known for many of his wrongs,
But you can bet your sweet behind he wrote great poems and songs.